Even after a week or two, I still can’t believe the things that some people have said to me. How can anyone want to cause more hurt for someone who is already dealing with so much pain in their life? To turn my daughters death around and make it about you..just shows how absolutely unbelievable people can be. The hurtful things that have been said are things I would have never said to anyone and are words that can never be taken back. The betrayal I feel..feeling that relationships have been a lie..the guilt that has been put on me for absolutely no reason. You tried to make me feel like me grieving was wrong..like me taking care of ME and my mental health should have been second to your feelings. You were wrong...in so many ways were you wrong. You were wrong for saying what you did. You were wrong with the statement that I always play the victim. I do believe that shoe would fit many other people better than it does me. And to even say that to a M OTHER THAT LOST HER DAUGHTER..how dare you. Reality is..I am the victim. My family members are the victims. WE lost our precious baby! And to compare losing my Mia to how I reacted when I lost my twins at 8 WEEKS PREGNANT is only something that an indecent human being would do..Mia was a full term baby for God sakes! And to be clear..this all started because I lost my daughter 9 weeks ago and some people cannot understand that a mother who’s baby just died, knows that her heart and mind is not ready to be around another baby. I did NOTHING wrong except distance myself...for my own mental health. Any grown adult, even if unable to put themselves in my shoes, should be able to comprehend that and not take it personally. You literally cried because you lost something that was simply attached to your baby…IMAGINE LOSING THE BABY THAT THAT CORD WAS ATTACHED TO.
Losing her has shown me who my true friends are..and sadly and shockingly, the one that everyone thought would be there, is the one that simply put..made my tragedy a way for them to become a victim.
Luckily though, through all of this, my husband and I have gotten closer than I ever thought we could. Our relationship isn’t perfect, but it is real. We don’t have to pretend to be something that we’re not. I love that man more than life itself.
My children are my rocks. Do they struggle with issues of their own from our past (that again..sorry but we are the victims in that as well)..yes they do. Are they trying to do better?..every day is different, but they’re trying. They bring light to my life every day.
I’ve gotten closer to family and made a couple new friends..one at which I consider without hesitation, my best friend. I hope that through this outlet, I can make more friends and we can help each other.
I love you all- '
I totally understand how you feel.lost my baby girl a day after an emergency ceaserian birth due to hydrocephalus.4th march 2022-5th march 2022.